How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatics: Only 1; hands are already in the air.
Pentecostals: 10; One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None; Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholics: None; candles only
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken
Episcopalians: 10; One to change the bulb, and nine to talk about how much better the old one was.
Methodists: Uncertain. A committee must be appointed to study the question.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Unitarians : We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
TV evangelists: One, but for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Dr. Lockridge's "My King Is..." link
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Have ideas for things to go on this page? E-mail Andy.
